I never believed I was enough. As a kid I did not think I was as beautiful and smart as my sister, as funny as my parents or as popular as my peers. I was different, sad, quiet, and alone. To avoid feeling inadequate, my teens and early adulthood were spent in the company of boys and booze. When I was thirty-three, I settled down and married a nice guy. And then I lost my mind.

I became obsessed with the idea that everything I did was a mistake and therefore I was a mistake. I would ruminate, cry, spiral, and panic. I fell into a deep depression. Therapy and anti-depressants helped quiet my mind, but I was still desperately searching for validation and reasons why.

My life changed when I came across a book about the Soul System written by Danielle Mackinnon. In it I read about the contracts we make with other souls, the lessons we came here to master, and the negative beliefs standing in the way of our happiness. I was able to track when and where I formed these opinions about myself and how they influenced the way I lived. Learning why I was always full of shame and fear changed my life. I shifted from thinking if I had only…. to examining the belief behind the thought.

I enrolled in Danielle Mackinnon’s school and learned more about how to help myself and others on the soul level. I developed a meditation practice and became a certified Shamatha meditation teacher. After receiving several energy healings, I also became certified as a Reiki and Integrative Energy Therapy® healer. Each time I was given the opportunity to assist in helping others I experienced a positive shift in my own mind. I no longer defined myself by my sadness and depression. I was able to change my mind and I believe that you can too.